Taking Care of Ourselves this Holiday Season
At first, I thought I was mistaken, but no! There they were, in mid-September, hanging Christmas wreaths and colored blinking lights at my local mall. Good Grief! The holiday push seems to begin earlier every year; an avalanche of advertising, bright lights, decorations and holiday music, all designed to get us ‘in the spirit’ and to buy, buy, buy! One of the downsides of all this hoopla, for those who are so inclined, is pre-holiday angst, anxiety and pressure to meet what we believe to be everyone’s expectations for the ‘perfect’ holiday experience. The earlier the commotion begins, the earlier we begin to feel the pangs. If you're among those who find themselves less than thrilled as they contemplate jingling bells and ho-ho-ho’s, you are not alone.
Why do some of us experience this sense of dread and sadness at what is supposed to be a joyful, festive time of year?
It’s often brought on by the stress of having to deal with increasing demands (both social and financial) from family, friends and coworkers. We find ourselves trying to juggle gift-shopping, parties, entertaining out-of-town guests, etc. while still maintaining our regular work and home schedules. We push ourselves too hard, forget to delegate duties, overeat, over-drink, and generally wear ourselves to a frazzle. Whew! Who wouldn’t want to run away and hide from all that? But take heart – it doesn’t have to be this way.
When you find yourself looking anxiously at the calendar, counting the days to some big event and feeling panic rather than anticipation – stop! Take a few minutes and give yourself a ‘holiday health-check’.
What are you eating and drinking, how much and how often? Remember that caffeine late in the day or evening is not your friend – it will increase feelings of anxiety and disturb your sleep (as will alcohol). On the other hand, try not to be too hard on yourself. Taking an extra helping of Aunt Lucy’s awesome candied yams is not the end of the world. Besides, Aunt Lucy will likely be pleased that you appreciate her cooking. It isn’t as if you are going to eat like that every day. If you’re concerned about self-control at dinner, remember to eat protein first – you’ll fill up on the healthy foods, and have less room (and less desire) for the sugary-fatty-starchy stuff. And do remember to drink water – central heating will dry you out faster than you think.
Schedule downtime in the same way you schedule your chores and reminders. And then TAKE that time! Even a 15 – 20 minute break, sitting somewhere quietly, just letting yourself unwind and breathe, will make a world of difference. Talk to your friends – they may be having the same difficulties, and misery shared is misery halved. Go for a walk, if the weather permits, but not in the mall! You’ll have more than enough mall-walking when it comes time to purchase gifts, etc. Instead, try a stroll through a particularly nice part of your town, a local art museum, or nearby woods, fields, etc. You can probably think of lots of other ways to nourish your psyche, as well as your body, to get through the long winter season.
Another suggestion: Simplify! Let the kids decorate the tree (except for Grandma’s heirloom glass ornaments, perhaps). So what if it doesn’t look like a magazine picture? No one actually lives in those places anyway, and those that do, spent a week cleaning it up to look good for the photo shoot! Relax, and make memories instead of gray hair.
Finally, a couple of reminders with regard to your physical and emotional health during the season of excess:
If you are taking any type of prescription medications, ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist if there are any potential problems with interactions between those meds and spicy foods, citrus fruits, etc. You may also want to look them up on the internet and see if there are any general cautions about food.
If your holiday-aversion is severe, talk with your doctor, or a counselor. The winter holidays are very hard on those of us who are dealing with issues of loss, depression, Seasonal Affective Disorder, or other emotional upsets.
Above all, remember that you are not alone when it comes to holiday anxiety. We all feel it to one degree or another. Armed with a good plan for dealing with the holiday blues, you’ll be ahead of the game, and much more likely to have a very happy holiday season.
What questions do you have? Write in and ask. I'll do my best to get the right answers for you.
Nancy Miller, RN, BA Psych, CHyT
Nancy Miller got her RN degree in 1975 and went on to earn a BA in Humanistic Psychology from Goucher College in 2002. She's also a certified hypnotherapist and an ordained minister. Nancy is the mother of one child, her 24 year old son Eric, of whom she is extremely proud.
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