Who Should Throw the Baby Shower?
Anyone! -- except the expectant parents! The coast is clear -- stop worrying! It makes no difference whether you're the Mom-to-Be's boss, co-worker, best friend, sister, cousin, aunt, or grandmother! Forget Miss Manners! You're not enrolled in the school for avoiding scandalous baby showers! Miss Manners' rule stating relatives shouldn't give Mom-to-Be a shower is simply NOT Diva! This is the 21st Century and Miss Manners' rule against relatives is totally old school!
When Should You Throw the Shower?
Anytime before the baby is born! But if you want to give Mom-to-Be a much needed -and fun! -boost, do it from the 7th month of her pregnancy onwards. Make sure to stay at least 3 weeks away from her due date in case she delivers early! (If Mom-to-Be is carrying twins, triplets or quads, keep in mind that these little ones tend to arrive early, so you might want to think about giving the shower at about the 6th or 7th month!)
Giving the shower on the earlier side of Mom-to-Be's due date gives her time to shop for any fill-ins she might need, too. Think of it this way. Mom-to-Be might get shower gifts that inspire and also remind her of things she'd like to have on hand for when she's at home with baby by her side.
Another thing -- keep in mind how fun it will be for Mom-to-Be to attend her shower sporting her baby bump! How cool is that!? Yes! Plan the shower far enough away from her due date so she can still shop for items if needed, but definitely toward the end of or after the 7th month when she's sure to really be showing!
Should You Give Mom-to-Be a Surprise Shower?
Well, a lot depends on whether Mom-to-Be is, by nature, a surprise lover. If you can confirm this through her spouse, family or friends, sure! Go for the big surprise! On the other hand, you might want to keep the "girl" view in mind. If Mom-to-Be knows in advance she's going to be the at her very own baby shower, she might appreciate an advance heads up! Mom-to-Be might want to purchase or select a favorite maternity outfit to wear for that day. She might want to get her hair done, get a "mani" and "pedi" at her favorite salon for that extra pampering. Consider a surprise beauty day for Mom-to-Be! Now, there's a surprise ANY expectant mother would welcome! You and a couple of close friends could give Mom-to-Be a wonderful day of beauty and spa. What a way to really boost her spirits and giver that extra "you can do it" burst of renewed energy for the big day when she delivers!
When and How Do You Schedule the Shower?
First, check it out with the Parents-to-Be. They can warn you away from their own scheduling conflicts and give you the 411 on other friends and family members' events and commitments that could potentially throw a glitch in your plans. Remember, the day is all about Mom-to-Be, and it would be a downer if her most important people weren't able to attend!
Note -- Some couples will choose to wait until after the baby's birth to celebrate the arrival. This may be due to family customs, tradition, religion, or it may just be that schedules are so crazy that the shower has to be postponed. Hey, you'll at least have the advantage of knowing the baby's sex and name! Shower guests have an advantage when gift shopping if they learn from YOU what items are most needed or desired now that the little one is here!
Diva Tip: Nothing is more treasured than a personalized gift. So if you are able to gift a personalized item, please do!
If the parents have twins, triplets, etc., they might appreciate a side gift of diapers, no matter what other gift you choose!
Diva Tip: Take it from me! New parents will be grateful to receive diapers! "Diapers?" you frown. Don't! They are one of the most depleted stock items that new parents will be going through, and your gift will not only save the new parents money, but also countless trips to the store which in turn saves their valuable time. Time they could spend with their new baby, each other, friends and family members, but most of all...sleeping!
Keep in mind, that a post-birth shower means considering New Mom and New Dad's daily routine. How much sleep are they getting? What's their energy level? How's mom doing postpartum? Is she able to sit comfortably on regular furniture, or does she frequently need to lie down? Is she nursing? How easy/difficult is that for her? Be sure to get as much info as you can and plan accordingly!
Diva Tip: New Moms really enjoy gifts of the ordinary such as watching the new baby so mom can simply take a shower! Don't forget to ask her what she needs AFTER the baby is here!
Where Should I Hold the Shower?
Get creative! You can host the shower at your home or at the home of a friend! If it's an office baby shower, you can easily decorate one of the conference rooms and use it as Party Central! You can reserve tables at Mom-to-Be's favorite restaurant. If weather permits, why not party al fresco?! You can hold Mom-to-Be's shower at her church, or rent time at a local reception hall. If children and dads are attending, why not make it a picnic (make sure Mom-to-Be has a comfy chair on hand!) Or barbeque! If the shower is planned around a core group of special women friends, a day at a spa complete with catered lunch would be a heavenly choice!
If you decide to rent a hall, it's a good idea to know how many people are on your guest list! Once you have that info, be sure to get answers to the following questions:
- Is the hall or room big enough to hold the guests, gifts and food comfortably?
- Is the hall or room attractive and inviting and can you carry out your decorating theme easily enough?
- Can you get in and decorate and set up early?
- Is the location available for your shower date?
- Are there enough chairs and tables?
- Can you easily bring in a more comfortable chair for Mom-to-Be if she needs one?
- How much will the hall or room rental cost?
- Who can I get to assist me with clean-up?
Diva Tip: Be sure to check with the Mom-to-Be that she is comfortable with any creative environments. For instance, if you want to throw a shower at a bowling alley, and she prefers a sit-down tea, check with her first!
Who Gets Invited?
Definitely check out the guest list with Mom-to-Be. This is a MISSION, girl! Find out who the most important invitees are (after Mom-to-Be, of course!). For example, does Mom-to-Be want her mother-in-law in attendance? Is there a friend or relative you two know in common that Mom-to-Be DOESN'T want at the shower? If so, you'd better find out before you start the donnybrook of the century! Divas never assume anything! Make sure every person on the list is vetted by Mom-to-Be! Keep this in mind: there's absolutely no reason why two or more baby showers can't be given! In fact, it's very common these days! Lots of people, and various groupings of Mom-to-Be's friends and family want to be included, but space limitations and even party dates may not accommodate the best laid plans of even the most discriminating Diva! In that case, not to worry! More than one shower is almost de rigueur for welcoming a new baby!
Does Dad-to-Be Get Invited?
Sure! Dad-to-Be can come if he likes, but most Dads-to Be might feel more comfortable at a co-ed baby shower! Co-ed showers are getting more and more popular! They're so versatile! It gives friends and family a chance to hang out and catch up and is a natural setting for cool fun shower games! Trust me, there's no way I'm going to let you play dopey, old-fashioned shower games! I'll give you the 411 on awesome shower games in a bit! Stay with me!
Another great thing about a coed baby shower is that it's a savvy way to celebrate the birth of a family's second, third, fourth (or more!) child! Every new baby deserves a loving welcome! If Mom-to-Be has had baby showers for her other children, a coed shower is a super way to have fun and help Mom-to-Be acquire new baby items she now needs but didn't with her first or second (or more!) babies!
Do I Need To Send Invitations? Why Can't I just Send Them From The Internet? Where Do I List The Registry Info?
Okay, all you Divas-in-Training, the answer is: you can't rely solely on internet generated invitations. A real Diva takes lots of things into consideration before she even dreams of creating the invites! First, will the shower employ a theme? If so, what it is? Does Mom-to-Be and Dad-to-Be know the sex of their coming bundle of joy? That would certainly suggest a theme! Keep in mind that the shower theme lends itself to the way you'll design the name tags! Yep! It's a good idea to have those puppies because the larger the party, the harder it is for the guests to keep track of who's who after YOU'VE made the initial gracious introductions!
Is Mom-to-Be registered at a baby specialty shop? If so, you may opt to state that on the written invitation. I've heard it where the registry is omitted on the invite. I'm sorry, but this just makes more work for our already busy hostess! We all know how much "fun" it is to track down people who haven't RSVP'd. You also may miss a call from someone sending in their regrets. It's much easier, and when handled with class, to include the registry somewhere inconspicuous on the invitation -- in my book it is completely acceptable. In fact, I recommend it! We're not saying "Here's what you have to buy and where! And, oh, by the way, THIS is what you have to get us!" What we are saying is "IF you would like the ease of shopping for something the expectant parents need and want, here is an OPTION for you!" And guess what? That invitation you sent was chosen AFTER you chose your shower THEME! The invitation is a KEEPSAKE, and it should mirror the colors (if special ones are chosen) and shower theme (if there is a specific one in play)!
When Should I Mail Shower Invitations?
Once you have your guest list coordinated with Mom-to-Be, mail your invitations 4 to 6 weeks in advance of the shower. That way you've given invitees plenty of time to RSVP and shop for the shower gift. If guests decide to order from Mom-to-Be's registry, 4 to 6 weeks gives the registry enough time to ship and deliver the gifts! Timing is nearly everything in life, and these days, time is at a premium!
What Day and Time Is Best For a Baby Shower?
Of course, it ultimately depends on when Mom-to-Be and her most-wanted guests can attend, but most of the time you can't go wrong with a afternoon shower during the weekend, say, from about 2:00 pm to 4:00 pm. Foods served at this time tend to be of the light snack variety, thus saving you lots of cooking time and/or the expense of catering more complicated dishes. Of course, if you're a gourmet cook or want to be, nothing bars you from whipping up haute cuisine!
A co-ed backyard or local park barbeque is a great way to mix, mingle and feed the many! 1:00 pm to 4:00 pm on Saturday or Sunday is doable for most folks. After all, they will have had 4 weeks in advance to plan! Remember? You sent out those invitations by mail in a timely fashion! If the party is co-ed, people can bring covered dishes and/or something to throw on the barbie. Make sure those coals are heated to perfection in advance!
What About Single Moms or Parents Who Are Adopting?
The same rules apply! Single Moms could sure use a helping hand when it comes to getting ready for baby! A single mother could be having a baby or adopting one! Married partners, or same sex partners might be adopting too! There's no difference! Diva Rules dictate: All babies deserve a warm and loving welcome into the home!
