Question:
My sister has seven bridesmaids and four are out of state. She wants the bridal shower the day before the wedding and she wants it to turn into a party all night. What should I do?
Answer:
Dear Ernestine,
It sounds like your sister wants the four bridesmaids who live out of state to participate in a bridal shower-bachelorette combo that flows straight into her wedding day. But that's when everyone is supposed to crisp for major bride duty!
While that could be a lot of fun -- but probably too exhausting! -- my advice to your sister is that she do some serious rethinking about her party plans.
The bridal shower is an event unto itself that is usually held held weeks or months before the wedding. The bachelorette party, which is also usually separate, shouldn't be held too close or too far from the wedding day.
The bride needs to have one --or two-- full days before her actual wedding to get much-needed rest and, if she overdid it on bachelorette night, cure a hangover.
The bridesmaids and other bachelorettes in attendance might need that recovery safety net too. Women want to look their divine best on the wedding day, especially when lighting is bound to show up any late night dark circles under the eyes! Think about the wedding photographer and those spotlights!
Another point -- the last thing any bride really wants is to feel hungover on the most special day of her life -- her wedding! It's a good idea for both bride and groom to be alert -- and sober -- when taking those vows!
I suggest having a gentle chat with your sister where you suggest that she make it easy on herself (and everybody else!) by including her out-of-town bridesmaids in the bridal shower by webcam. Or, ask her to consider having her shower in the presence of the bridesmaids who live in town, but set aside time later for her out-of-state attendants when they arrive for the wedding. That way she'll get to enjoy an extra event!
There might be a couple of the out-of-town bridesmaids who could afford to fly in and celebrate her shower. If so, it would be grand! I want to stress again that it isn't recommended to hold either the shower or bachelorette the day before the wedding, even if the shower and bachelorette are combined parties! Your sister will need every spare moment possible to rest, relax, and center herself.
Your sister's wedding is a day she's probably been dreaming of for a long time. It's only natural that she'd want everyone she loves to be at the center of every momentous occasion.
I myself had two out-of-town bridesmaids who couldn't be a part of my bridal showers (I was given two) or my bachelorette party. Timing was perfect, though, for me to enjoy their company the day before my wedding. We had a leisurely day of "spa" -- top of the line manicures, pedicures and updos. We had dinner together after the wedding rehearsal, then did a great hot tub soak the night before the wedding. I was prepared, relaxed and ready to go at 7am when the alarm clock sounded!
There are tons of options open to your sister that will allow her to enjoy special time with her out-of-state bridesmaids once they arrive in town. Since your sister wants to make the most of her transition from Ms. to Mrs., she'll need that extra good night's sleep to get a head start on her new life!
Susan "The Shower Diva"
Where Fun Reigns!™
